RIP Collin

It's incredible how quickly a life can end. 

Just a couple days ago my housemate Casey was telling us about how earlier that day he was hiking through a tunnel in one of the crevasses off Palmer when the ice gave way under him. He jumped, clinging to the wall of the tunnel as the ground all around him crumbled down into the dark depths of the crevasse. We marveled about how he barely made it out of that situation. It was much too close of a call. 

Then today, my other housemate asked if I had heard about what had happened yesterday. Our friend was hiking down through the tunnels with some other guys scoping out a place to shoot some photos or something. The ice above them began to fall. Two of the guys got buried chest deep and one of them was smothered. They tried to get him out but it was impossible to dig through. My housemate relaying the story to me didn't know who it was that got killed so I jumped online to see if there was more to the story. 

My heart stopped when the google results came up. The guy who died turned out to be Collin Backowski. I couldn't believe it (and still can't.) Collin had been one of the nicest guys to me at camp this summer and we had hung out a number of times. Just a couple nights ago he had walked me home from the bar. How could I have even imagined that would be the last time I would ever see him?

I'm still in shock. His death doesn't even seem real. How could he be taken so unexpectedly? So quickly? They say our sport is dangerous, but you wouldn't expect someone out just scouting a spot to be taken by Mother Nature like that. 

More than anything I wish I could have told him how much he meant to me this summer. I wish I could have hugged him one last time. Seen his smile one last time. 

I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with this. I can't change what happened. All I can change is how I'll treat the future. From now on I need to appreciate every moment I have with the people I care about- and let those people know how much I care. Any moment can be anyone's last. 

And none of it ever seems very fair.