Being ok with losing.

Well Rev Tour was less than stellar. I knew going into it that I was going to take it easy, and treat it as practice instead of a competition. So I didn't watch anyone else's runs, didn't look at scores, and just straight aired every hit both runs. I got 18th out of 19. Rough.

It's really hard to lose. It's hard to know you didn't give it your all. It's hard to be asked "So how did you do?" and attempt to justify last place with "Well, it was my first day back in pipe after an injury so I didn't want to try anything." I'm going to work extra hard between now and the next Rev stop I'm doing (Sun Valley in March), so I can actually be proud of my results there. It'd be nice to have a huge five again, and even nicer to be able to put back to back fives in my run. Hopefully I'll be able to get there.

As hard as I try to be mellow and be ok with losing, I really can't be. I'm just not that person. Character flaw? Oh well.

First Competition is Tomorrow!

Well here goes nothing.

Surprisingly, I don't feel nervous for tomorrow morning at all. I think I'm just in a good mental state.

I know I don't have a serious chance of fighting for a top spot in the half pipe contest tomorrow- I still see myself as being in recovery mode. Until four days ago, I was still just making turns. Now I'm slowly building my confidence back up in pipe, but I don't feel like I'm ready to throw a five first hit or go for a seven. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm just doing straight air runs tomorrow.

I feel very relaxed though. I'm going into this thinking the only person I'm competing against is myself. As long as I ride better tomorrow than I did today, I've won. I think that's how I should go about this whole season- strive to progress every single day and treat each day that happens as a victory.

I'm not concerned with what any of the other girls do in their runs. I probably won't even watch them. I don't want to ride better than someone else, I just want to ride the best that I can for myself.

Louie Vito was recently asked in an interview something like "Does Shaun White being here today affect the run you're going to do?" He responded something like "No, because I don't want to beat Shaun White. If he comes in 19th, that means beating him could mean 18th place. I want to beat everyone. It doesn't matter if Shaun is here or not." This is kind of the same thing for me I guess- it doesn't matter who I'm competing against or what they do in their runs; I'm going to ride my best no matter what. My only concern is myself.

When you stop worrying about other people, your mind can find ease. (I'd like to attribute that to Buddha, but I made it up :/ )

22' pipe at northstar

Shaun White is making Northstar his new "home mountain". This means there's going to be a 22 footer at Northstar this year and I'm SO stoked. I became such a pipe jock this summer its not even funny. Really, I wanted to hit rails and jumps, but I'd find myself hiking the pipe for three hours straight without stopping. I love it. I love it. Pipe is so much fun. I could ride it all day and not be bored. I can't wait to hit this new pipe up. You can bet I'll be there every morning before class. :]

Spoke too soon.

Well I guess I'm doing Free Flow now.

I went to Northstar today to practice pipe stuff and my coach told me half way through the day that some lady who has stuff to do with Free Flow told him there's already been a few girls who have dropped out of slopestyle. Meaning, if I got to Sierra by 7am and got on the wait list I'd probably get a spot.

So now I'm competing in slopestyle.

Did I practice slopestyle at all today? Of course not.

I did nothing but jumping Monday-Wednesday this week so I don't feel too worried about that. I mean, I should be fine on the jumps as long as I don't psych myself out. My mind messes with me so much when I ride. There's so much that I know I could do if I let myself. But I get psyched and hold myself back. Can't let that happen tomorrow though. I think the jumps are going to be a little bigger than what I've ever hit. But it'll be okay. If I put my mind in the right place I should have no problem with a straight air- front 1 line. Should be easy...

My concern today was half pipe. I really want to do my best in pipe, which would be airing out and doing 3s and switch 3s above the lip. Today started out real bad in the pipe. I kept quitting after my first two hits. No bueno. During lunch though I changed my stance up and tried to put my head back in place. When I went back to the pipe everything felt better. I started getting higher. Then I started airing out. Jeeze. Getting air the the pipe is such a weird feeling. It's different than anything I've felt before. It scares me. But I like it. So anyways, I did that all day.

One of the ski coaches is picking me up tomorrow to bring me to Sierra, which is apparently farther away than I thought. I would really like to be at Sierra when registration starts at 7am, but Jake isn't picking me up until 6am. Mapquest says it will take an hour and a half to get there. I'm really hoping it doesn't take that long. Or if it does, I hope there's not a bunch of other girls already there on the wait list. Tell me again why there's only ten women's spots? It'll suck big time if I get there and can't compete. :/

So I'm crossing my fingers that it takes less than an hour to travel 57 miles, or that there're more spaces open than there are girls on the wait list. All of this would be a lot easier if I had just made up my mind earlier and registered when it was open. Ugh. Okay, gotta pack my overnight bag now. I'm going to either stay in a hotel or at a friend's house in south lake so Sunday isn't as difficult as this.