An unexpected trip home.

I didn't think I'd be sending it back to the Bay again until May but a death in the family brought me back this morning. The funeral will be on Wednesday so I'm stuck here again for an entire week just w a i t i n g.
I was scheduled to teach snowboard lessons for the next three days which I was totally stoked about and then I was going to keep practicing for my first weekend of competitions and start training with the Northstar team. All that changed. Now I'll get back and have something like 7 days to learn how to ride pipe and build up the confidence to hit the big jumps. I guess I'll just deal with it. I believe it will all work out.
I feel totally at home being in San Francisco again, but also completely stir crazy. Just like an animal pacing around, waiting to get out. If I bus it back next Thursday maybe I can ride Boreal that night? And in the mean time I can skate. Kinda like the old days again: holding this date in my hands of when I get to be at peace in the mountains, and just burning time skating until then.
Ugh. I really have nothing else to say. My grandpa's death still doesn't feel real at all so all I can still think about is snowboarding, why I'm not currently doing it, and what I'll do once I'm doing it again. I'm not cold hearted- I swear. My grandpa was the most amazing and inspiring man I have ever known and everything is going to be weird without him. His death was a condition of love and it's unbelievable to me that he's gone. Death just makes everything change shape and become unreal... And because of that, all I can hold on to right now is snowboarding... as usual.